I believe in the possible existence of other intelligent life. It seems really backwards to me to we’re the only ones here in this great, spacious universe of ours. As Jodie Foster’s character Ellie said in the movie Contact, “So if it’s just us… seems like an awful waste of space. Right?” If it’s just us, God did one piss poor job of estimating how much space we were going to need.

Unfortunately, aliens are never going to visit us and I have discovered why.

Humans are delusional.

What am I talking about? Well, first thing is to check out the dictionary definition of the word delusional, which is described as:

A false belief strongly held in spite of invalidating evidence.

Still don’t know where I’m going with this? Well, think about this: If you wanted to contact an alien race, wouldn’t you be concerned if that race showed signs of mass delusional thinking? If they couldn’t differentiate reality from fiction? I mean, who knows what that race would do to you once you made your presence known… Bad things could happen. They could all of a sudden decide you’re the greatest threat to the universe and spend 100% of their time planning for your destruction… So contacting a race that is prone to delusional thinking probably isn’t the best idea, eh? I mean, given the choice, we probably wouldn’t do it, would we?

Neither will aliens, because we humans are delusional on a mass scale.

And I have the proof to confirm it. It is called American Idol.

The new season of American Idol started last night and my wife is a big fan of the show. I usually try and leave the room when it’s on TV because I feel like my IQ is irreversibly diminished. I don’t know what an actual lobotomy feels like, but I imagine it feels like watching American Idol.

Watching the show is a clear window into the human delusional condition. Thousdands of people try out for the show, and every single one of them actually believes, despite all evidence to the contrary, that they can sing - and sing well. They believe they are going to be the next American Idol. They believe their vocal chords are going to blow far and wide over the airwaves of America.

They don’t just think they can sing. They believe it with all of their heart and soul. Even after they’ve been judged as horrible. Even after human being within earshot has covered their precious hearing organs and prayed for the screeching to halt. Even after having three professionals in the music industry tell them they were the worst thing since a dying cat they still believe in their own vocal prowess. They walk out that failed audition cursing the judges instead of doing what any intelligent being would do: realize the truth. Instead, they walk out still clinging to fiction…

A false belief strongly held in spite of invalidating evidence.

Delusional.

If you need more proof why we’re a race of idiotic beings, look no further than the mass delusion on American Idol. All hail the human race’s inability to acknowledge the facts.

I feel dumber already.