Paul Zimmerman: SI Writer, Seahawks Ignoramus. A Year In Review.
Chris It’s Hype Week for Super Bowl XL and as far as the national media is concerned this game is already over and done; Pittsburgh has won and we should just start looking forward to the NFL Draft. Every “expert” who has a say has already annointed the Steelers as the Super Bowl winners (even those HBO guys, who decided to delay their picks until Wednesday, are going to pick Pittsburgh - you can read it between the lines pretty easy).
Of all the media people who have picked the Steelers though, the one that I find the most insulting is Paul Zimmerman. I’ve been disappointed with Zimmerman all year because he just flat-out hates the Seahawks. Ok, maybe hate is the wrong word - he’d probably bristle his old feathers at that - but the truth is he really doesn’t like the Seahawks. He thinks their soft; phoneys and imposters. And he’s been thinking that since before the season started.
One thing that really bugs me is that Zimmerman is a self-proclaimed appreciator of linemen: those guys in the trenches who often determine the outcome of the game by how dominating they are over their opponents. The Seahawks sport the best offensive line in the NFL, as well as a defensive front four that has proven to be very good at getting pressure on opposing quarterbacks without having to resort to blitzes and extra defenders (lead the NFL in sacks), and yet Zimmerman has somehow managed to ignore these two facts all year long.
The worst part though, is that in this week’s Sport Illustrated, Zimmerman is the guy who pens the prediction column. He starts off by blasting the teams for playing the No Respect Card, and then he goes on to do exactly what he’s done all season: disrespect and ignore Seattle. He picks the Steelers of course, for what he calls “No good reason.” Of course, the real reason is because he just flat-out doesn’t like the Seahawks.
It started as early as July with Zimmerman. He wrote a piece for SI.com where he yacks about the Vegas Betting Lines, and then proceeds to pick the Seahawks to win less than 9 games:
“Taking the under on Seattle to win 8 1/2 and getting +105 in my favor,” I said off the top of my head. I really don’t know why. I just have a feeling their run is over.
He continues dismissing the Seahawks a few weeks later with his pre-season picks:
2. SEAHAWKS (9-7)
And out of the playoffs, see? That’ll teach you to fold, when I picked you to go to the Super Bowl, as I did last year. I like the components of this team, except their wideouts drop the ball and their defense takes the pipe as the stakes get higher. In other words, this has the makings of a choke team. Now tell me exactly what I sound like? You’re right, like a guy who’s just failed to cash a big bet and is bitter. Well, I mean, they were my Super Bowl team, for God’s sake.
And after Week 1, Zimmerman’s already trying to kick the Seahawks with his Power Rankings:
If I weren’t so tired Sunday night, when I did my handicapping column, I would have made Atlanta my upset special No. 5 against the ‘Hawks, playing in Seattle. I have a feeling a lot of honest investors will be cursing this Hawkeye bunch by season’s end.
Later on, when the ‘Hawks were nursing a 2-2 start, Zimmerman decides to take a shot at Mike Holmgren, one of the classiest coaches in the NFL and a guy who honestly, truly believes in the human spirit and giving people multiple chances to straighten themselves out:
Mike Holmgren describes Bobby Engram as “the heart and soul of my team.” So tell me, please, why he sat on the bench for three years behind a Good Time Charley such as Koren Robinson?
Of course, Zimmerman isn’t done. After the guys as ESPN decided to give the mostly unknown Seahawks some national attention, Dr. Z wastes no time whipping out his bazooka and blasting them:
This is the best team in the NFL, according to the ESPN geniuses, astutely analyzing the Hawks’ win over Houston. Something like that makes me want them to lose. But in the magazine, I picked them to beat Dallas. Guess which way I’m rooting?
At the halfway point of the season Dr. Z attempted to look back and figure out how he’d gotten it wrong in the NFC West. All he could muster was this pathetic explanation:
Now we get to the bad part. I had the Rams winning at 9-7, with the Seahawks posting the same mark but losing out via playoff formula. I’m trying to think back on what there was about St. Louis that I liked better than the Seahawks. Maybe it was the memory of how the ‘Hawks lost to St. Louis three times last season, including the wild-card game, in which they blew a seven-point lead in the fourth quarter.
See, this is where I get steamed. Zimmerman is supposed to be doing this for a living. He’s supposed to be paying attention; in the know, getting the real dirt, figuring out what’s going on. And he was clueless. He didn’t even know that this was a team with (count ‘em) 8 new starters on defense. They hired Tim Ruskell as the new general manager who subsequently cleaned house of players that helped cause those collapses. This was a different team, but old Dr. Z didn’t have a clue. He was basing his entire 2005 Seahawks prediction on what happened in 2004.
Then we get to his mailbag, where he gets to cherry-pick letters from Seahawks fans who don’t believe, just so he can keep his down-on-Seattle vibe turned up to 10:
Chris of Washington D.C. agrees with my doubts about the Seahawks. And he’s a Hawks fan. Too many criticisms to name, but if the hard core fans are revolting … no, I didn’t mean that; they’re not revolting at all, they’re nice people … if the hard core fans are in revolt, is anything safe?
Even in victory Zimmerman finds ways to doubt and disrespect the Seahawks, as he does after Seattle beats the Giants at home:
The Giants were the tougher team. The Giants should have beaten them. But this was a huge win for the ‘Hawks because it keeps the home fires burning, and it’s not easy for the visiting team to mount an offense in that House of Sound called Qwest Stadium.
Nevermind that the officials gave the Giants two free touchdowns (for a total of 14 points) on plays that should have been reversed on replay, or seen correctly the first time. No, the Giants were the tougher team. Whatever. I can be pretty damn tough too when the zebras are spotting me free points as well. Tougher? Who missed three field goals to win it? Oh yeah - the tougher team…
As if that wasn’t enough (maybe Zimmerman is a Giants fan?) he spends his next article blasting the crowd noise, largely because of the way the Giants lost to Seattle at Quest field:
One writer took the vulgar and highly unpopular position of supporting the NFL in this situation. Competition, he wrote, should be decided by the participants on the field, not by some half-drunk idiot in the stands. Was it I who wrote that? Of course it was, but you knew that already. Oh boy, did I ever get pilloried. Fire that moron was one of the milder suggestions.
Fire? Nah. Would rather beat you over the head with a Seahawks Super Bowl win, and hopefully in 6 more days we’ll be able to do just that.
Back to the Zimmerman Files though. A week later the ‘Hawks vaulted to his #2 spot, the highest perch all season. But even in making that leap Dr. Z takes a moment to belittle Shaun Alexander’s touchdown prowess:
Shaun Alexander’s two TD runs, of one and two yards, got him up to 92 touchdowns over a five-year period, one more than the former record holder, Emmitt Smith. I have never been impressed by records built on one and two-yard runs.
A couple weeks later, after an amazing three-week run at the #2 spot, Zimmerman takes another shot at the ‘Hawks defense:
I’m reading about all the records this team could set. I’m also noticing that the Titans put together four long scoring drives Sunday. OK, a down game on the road and all that, but do you really feel that you’re seeing a big league defense at work here?
Big League Defense… Oh, if only he could have known how Big League the Seahawks defense would be when it met his Panthers a few weeks later in the NFC Championship game.
By the way - it had to be killing Zimmerman to put Seattle #2, didn’t it? I mean, he throws a jab at this team every single chance he gets. He’s praying for failure at this point because he can’t stand the thought of having to write something positive about a team that he simply doesn’t know or understand.
Finally we get to the playoffs, and Zimmerman - for the first time all year - picks the Seahawks to win. But he doesn’t believe in them, you can hear it in the voice:
Washington is the tougher team, but the Hawks are rested and they’ve got tremendous firepower. One nagging thing I can’t forget, though, is how they blew their chance to beat the ‘Skins last time by playing it cozy.
We’re back to that “tougher team” balony. What do the ‘Hawks have to do to prove their toughness? That’s coming up… But before then we get a glimse into Dr. Z’s real feelings about Seattle (he’s just dying to see them fail!):
Noah of Chicago is not impressed with what he considers the Seahawks’ easy schedule. You know something? I’m not going to get into that now, after the way the Jaguars fans blistered me for pointing out the same thing. I mean after getting my left cheek roasted, do I want to hold my right one to the fire? But if the Skins upset Seattle, you bet I’ll be leading the parade of, “You could see it coming … I mean who did they play?” (Journalists, as you know, are America’s greatest front-runners).
Fortunately, Seattle won the game even though their MVP went down early with a concussion, largely due to a dominating defense and Matt Hasselbeck’s break-out performance. Hasselbeck scrambled on critical plays to keep drives alive, and Mo Morris subbed in for Alexander to grind out some tough 3rd-and-2 yards. But Dr. Z evidently didn’t see that game, because there was no mention of Hasselbeck’s heroics in his post-game column which was titled Jackson Emerges For Seattle. Ok, sure, Darrell Jackson had a great game, but who was leading that offense? Casper the Friendly Ghost? Maybe Zimmerman doesn’t just hate Seattle, he hates Hasselbeck as well?
Finally, we end with this: After the championship games, when Seattle blasted Dr. Z’s Super Bowl favorites, the Carolina Panthers, do we get any sort of column acknowledging what the ‘Hawks have accomplished? Nope. Check Dr. Z’s archives for yourself; there’s nothing there. Just one article on Tom Brady not getting ripped enough, and then Commentator Awards.
So there you have it, the season of the Seahawks as seen through the eyes and words of Paul Zimmerman, one of Sports Illustrated’s elite NFL writers. Yep, he’s a fountain of wisdom and knowledge, at the very top of his game.
Or he just hates the Seahawks.
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